When Just Getting a Tattoo is not Special Enough Anymore

Submitted by Rolf - Mon, 31 Aug 2009

I am sure everyone knows about Kimberley, that silly Belgian chick that supposedly asked for only 3 stars, but got 56 tattood on her face. Well, she has had enough attention, so this article is not about that. Not for one second did I ever believe she was actually telling the truth anyway. Falling asleep while someone spends a few hours tattooing your face. Suuure. Right, I was not going to write about that.

I like tattoos. Or rather, I like the look of some tattoos. I don't like the classic colorful type that sailors have, like a 20-color koi carp or huge elaborate red, blue, green, gray paintings of how much you love your mom or how much faith you put into a guy called Jesus. There are lots of big tattoos that look like one huge ink stain from afar. Sure, I can appreciate the emotion and story behind tattoos like this, but it's simply not aesthetic.

For me, a tattoo needs to be a simple, powerful drawing. Sort of like a logo of something that defines you. So if for some reason koi carps define you, like for instance if one saved your life once, get a simplified picture of a koi, not a true-color that covers an entire body part.

Mind you, this is only my opinion of course, and there are exceptions. Besides, I don't even have one tattoo for several reasons. I haven't found that perfect image, or an image that I know will forever be pretty and exciting enough (and I certainly don't plan to get 200 tattoos for each phase in my life). How much would it suck to design or see an image that is more appropriate than the one you had tattood a month ago? If you find a cooler t-shirt, you can just buy it and swap it with your old one, but that is not so easy when it comes to skin ink. Oh and the other reason being that I'm a big wuss when it comes to people sticking sharp objects in me.

Anyhow, on to the article I wanted to write. The 6 most unusual places to get a tattoo.

6. Belly Button Tattoo

belly button tattoo of bart simpson taking a bow

This is the perfect tattoo for guys that realize they are probably not going to lose that weight. Good for a cheap, quick laugh at parties. You'll be the center of attention, in a good, jovial way as long as people are not going to think about the fact that you will always have an asshole on your belly. Soon they will be laughing at you instead of with you.

5. Ear Tattoo

I actually like this one. I think it's quite unusual to have your ear tattooed and it's not quite as prominent as, for instance, your nose. Also because of the size of most people's ears, you're limited to a small tattoo, which is never bad.

4. Face Tattoo

Face tattoos are disrespectful, in my opinion. You are forcing others to be confronted with it, while you never have to look at it yourself. There is no way to hide it, or to be subtle about it. There are a lot of pictures on the web of people with such a dramatic face tattoo, that they are not recognizable as a person anymore, other than 'that guy with such-and-such tattoo'. I chose to include these two pictures for comedy value. The guy that looks beat up will probably never get beaten up with such a tattoo, as opposed to the guy in the second picture. I can almost imagine his friend having tattooed 'SWEET' on his forehead.

3. Lip Tattoo

Very discrete, yet very unusual are these lip tattoos. If you have one good life's motto, this is the place to tattoo it. Unless it might be more appropriate on your middle finger of course. Even though hardly anyone will see it, you might want to put a little thought into what you are going to put there, though. Lovely...

2. Tongue Tattoo

This must hurt like hell. Hidden until you open your mouth. Wide enough. Is the surprise effect worth it? I doubt it. If it's visible during normal conversation, I imagine it will be very distracting. "Uhm, you have something there.. no, still there.. let me.. Oh"

1. Eye Tattoo

The first picture is not so much a tattoo, but I still wanted to show it. It looks pretty, but I am not sure it's completely harmless for your eye. The second picture I can't imagine it's not destructive. Not sure if it is technically a tattoo. Ink is injected just under the surface, so I guess that matches the definition. If you can actually find an official tattoo artist willing to do this to you, be sure to also make an appointment with a (mental) hospital right after.

Be sure to also read: When the Tattoo Shop is Closed but You Are Too Drunk to go Home