Confucius Talks

Written by Rolf

Confucius was a Chinese thinker and social philosopher of the Spring and Autumn Period. His philosophy emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, justice and sincerity. Confucius was a wise man but some of his quotes have been remembered slightly different than he had intended.

Confucius say... Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.

Confucius say... If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.

Confucius say... Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

Confucius say... Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Confucius say... He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say... Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.

Confucius say... Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.

Confucius say... Couple on 7 day honeymoon make whole week.

Confucius say... Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.

Confucius say... Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honorable discharge.

Confucius say.... Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.

Confucius say... Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts.

Confucius say... Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

Confucius say... Rape impossible. Woman run faster with skirt up, than Man with pants down.

Confucius say... He who run behind bus get exhausted.

Confucius say... Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

Confucius say... Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Confucius say... He who fishes in others' holes often catches crabs.